


Scar Tissue

by lullatone



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, post 2x12, sort of a fix it?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 21:27:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18269633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lullatone/pseuds/lullatone
Summary: "And she know she isn’t owed an explanation, knows he doesn’t want to talk about it. But he won’t let her touch his stomach."





	Scar Tissue

**Author's Note:**

> So, I had this really angsty idea about Chim having insecurities over his scar after the stabbing and I just had to let those angsty feelings out!!! I would actually really love for some kind of moment like this in the show, since scars are sometimes a taboo thing and sometimes viewed as something that should be a secret or not seen/talked about. Anyway, I hope yall enjoy this angst, and don't worry, I'll have some more fluffy content for Chim and Maddie soon!

Maddie’s learned to read Chimney rather well in the time they’ve been together, so it’s no surprise that she can tell he’s hiding something. They’ve been taking things slow, which is something they both need. Maddie’s happy with the pace that they’re going, content with kissing on the couch and falling asleep together in her bed. 

And she know she isn’t owed an explanation, knows he doesn’t want to talk about it, but he won’t let her touch his stomach.

The first time she noticed was during their movie night. They had lost interest in Jurassic Park 3 a while ago, Maddie deciding she would rather spend her night in her boyfriends lap. Chimney is holding her close, kissing her so sweetly that it makes Maddie’s heart swell. She decides she wants just a little more, craving something skin to skin. She reaches for the hem of his shirt, toying with the button when he pulls back quickly, putting a hand on her arm to stop her.

Maddie immediately wants to ask what's wrong, the look of panic in his eyes evident. Instead he deflects, saying that they should get back to the movie before they get carried away. He gives her a smile that on the surface looks fine, but Maddie can tell is only skin deep. After realizing he isn’t going to budge or open up, she sits back down on the couch next to him. Chim pulls her close, placing a kiss on her head.

It happens again a few days later when he’s staying the night but realizes he forgot clothes to sleep in. Chim’s digging through his bag when Maddie comes up behind him, wrapping her arms around his waist. She gives him a squeeze, giggling as she rest her head on his back.

“You know, I wouldn’t mind sleeping next to a shirtless Chimney. Might be fun.”

She expects that to get a laugh out of him, or maybe even a flirty one-liner. Instead he just takes a deep breath, continuing to rummage through his bag. When he answers, it’s not his usual joyful timbre. It sounds so unlike him it takes Maddie aback for a second.

“Maybe another time. Do you think Buck has something I can borrow?”

Maddie gets him a pair of Buck’s sweatpants and an old t-shirt, and when Chim goes to get changed, he heads into the bathroom and locks the door behind him.

Maddie finally works up the nerve to ask him about it a week later. She tells herself that no matter what happens that night, she won’t let him deflect and try to handle everything on his own.

Their schedules had finally lined up for them to have a proper date night. They get dressed up and actually reserve themselves a table at a fancy restaurant downtown. They have such an amazing time together that it’s a no brainer when Chimney asks if she wants to come back to his apartment after.

When they rush in together about 20 minutes later, the first thing Maddie does is kick off her heels and divest Chim of his jacket. He let’s it fall to floor and grabs Maddie by the waist, pulling her in for a kiss.

They’re surprised they make it to his bedroom at all, Chim almost tripping over some clothes he left on the ground earlier. Maddie laughs, and she feels so happy, so radiant alongside this man that she absolutely knows she loves. She doesn’t  _ need  _ to have sex with him tonight, whatever is comfortable for them at this point in time, that’s what she wants.

She doesn’t have any complaints though when he joins her on the bed and pushes her skirt up past her waist, warm hands giving rise to goosebumps on her legs. Maddie feels so completely in the moment, happy to know that Chimney feels the same way when she giggles and he smiles, placing a sweet kiss on her cheek before trailing down her neck.

Maddie’s hands wander, trailing from his shoulders, to his back, down to his waist. She’s undoing his belt and untucking his shirt from his pants when he freezes.  Maddie can feel him breathing hard into the crook of her neck and she moves to sit up, bringing him up with her. She sits back against the pillows, finally able to get a look at Chim’s face. He looks embarrassed almost, like he’s done something wrong.

“Chim are you okay?”

“I’m-uh. I’m okay it’s just…” He trails off, swallowing hard. His hands have wandered down to the edge of his shirt, picking at the fabric.

“You know you can talk to me about anything right?” Chimney continues to stare at the bed sheets, fingers still worrying the hem of his shirt. After a few moments of silence, he takes a deep breath.The softness in his voice breaks Maddie’s heart.

“It’s my scar Maddie. I...nobody besides me and some doctors have seen it.”

“Can I see it?”

The question surprises Chim, half expecting Maddie to tiptoe around the subject, which is what everyone seems to be doing lately. He loves his family at the 118, but sometimes it feels like they’re walking on broken glass around him, like if someone even says the word ‘knife’, Chim’s gonna lose it.

He unbuttons the bottom three on his shirt, pulling it to the side. It’s on his right side, just below his ribs. Maddie had been filled in on everything about the stabbing right before she went to see Chim in the hospital. Buck told her everything that he knew, telling her that Chim was lucky it was such a short blade, that the doctors told them anything deeper probably would’ve killed him.

It’s large and jagged, the cuts being so close together that they’ve become one large mass on his lower abdomen. It’s healed well, but it’s still discolored, the skin rougher and thick. Maddie wants to reach out and touch it, but she knows that's probably the last thing Chim needs right now. 

“Does it hurt?”

Chimney shrugs, looking apathetic.

“It’s sore sometimes. When I stretch it’s not uh, too pleasant.” He chuckles a little, once again trying to make light of the situation. “I just, I don’t want to seem like I’m not grateful. A scar is better than being dead right? I mean I’ve already proved that once.” He gestures to the small ‘x’ on his forehead, a constant reminder of his accident. Maddie can see the tears pooling in the corners of his eyes and she can’t stand to see it. This wonderful man in front of her, who’s trying so hard to let it all go. Maddie takes his hand, squeezing it tightly.

“Chim, you’re allowed to be upset. That doesn’t mean you’re not grateful.” Maddie takes her other hand, reaching out towards his stomach. He sees her hand and he sucks in a breath. Maddie pauses, waiting for permission. Without a word, he nods.

Maddie gently places her palm flush against the skin, feeling the roughness compared to the rest of his smooth skin. She squeezes his hand again, and he finally looks up at her.  

“Do you know what I see? A survivor. You’ve been through so much and you’re still here. We’ve both been through so much.” Maddie’s mind wanders to Doug for a split second. She had her fair share of scars too. Nothing quite as large as Chims, but they were there nonetheless. Over the years, she’s gotten used to them, used them as reminders of her strength to push herself forward, not take her back to her past. Before her thoughts can stray too much she shakes it off, bringing her focus back to Chimney. “We’re allowed to have parts of us that aren’t beautiful or perfect. But that doesn’t make us any less than what we are.”

Chimney closes his eyes for a moment, and when he opens them he’s well and truly crying. But he’s also smiling at Maddie like he’s just seen the sun for the first time in months. Maddie lets go of his hand, bringing it up to his face. She wipes away a tear that's falling down his cheek.

“Are you okay?”

Chimney laughs, tears still falling down his face. Maddie’s missed that laugh, a sound that feels like the man she knows, the one who finds joy in everything he does.

“I-I’m great. I mean, I’m  _ not _ but that’s okay.  _ God _ , that was very poetic. I feel inspired.” Maddie laughs too this time, doing her best to keep in her own tears that she can feel prickling at the corners of her eyes. She was always a sympathetic crier.

After a minute or so, the tears finally stop, Chim taking a long and deep breath. He runs a hand through his hair, taking a moment to look at the two of them. His fingers start to play with the rest of the buttons of his shirt again, debating what the next step is. He whistles low, raising an eyebrow at Maddie.

“So. Uh, I know we were in the middle of something before that all happened.” Maddie blushes, hands splaying out against her skirt that she realized was still bunched up and draped haphazardly.

“Yes, as a matter of fact I think we were.”

Chim grabs her hand, bringing it up to him and placing a kiss on her palm. The look in his eyes makes Maddie blush furiously. He looks bashful as he threads their fingers together, holding her hand tightly.

“Do you think we could just lie here for a bit? Maybe have some ice cream later?” Maddie smiles, her heart so full of love. She pulls him in close, giving him a quick kiss on the lips before laying back against the pillows. They end up side by side, Maddie placing her head on his chest, wrapping an arm around his middle. Chim follows her lead, arms holding her tight as he places a kiss on her head before lying back down.

A feeling of calm washes over Maddie, her body and mind relaxing as they cuddle in the quiet room. After everything that’s happened over the past year, the good and the bad and the horrendous, she finds herself so lucky to just be  _ here _ . Safe and sound with the man she loves, both of them brandishing scars, both of them survivors. 


End file.
